MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT — DISCUSSION GUIDE
Thank you for taking the Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family.
After you receive the results from your assessment, plan a time to discuss the results with your spouse. But before you start, read through the instructions to learn how to make the best use of your conversation. We hope this conversation guide helps you and your spouse find ways to grow together as a couple.
NEXT STEPS
STEP ONE
REVIEW YOUR RESULTS
Read through your results and ask your spouse
to share his or her results with you.
STEP TWO
SCHEDULE TIME TO TALK
Plan time to talk to your spouse so that you can both prepare for the discussion and next steps.
STEP THREE
AGREE ON BASIC RULES
Plan what you will talk about, where you will talk and how you will address certain issues.
PLAN YOUR DISCUSSION
Now that you’ve received your results, we’re sure you have a lot to share with your spouse!
It’s tempting to make quick assumptions about your spouse based on his or her report. You may even feel surprised or frustrated by your spouse’s results. But before you dive into a conversation, it’s important to set a few basic rules so that you can work through the discussion together. We recommend the following:
Make it your goal to learn more about your spouse, not to determine who is right or wrong.
Remember the assessment results are a snapshot of this moment in your marriage. Don’t view them as a long-term diagnosis. Instead, view them as an opportunity to look at this season of your marriage and find opportunities to grow.
Commit to a safe conversation with your spouse. This is an opportunity to listen to your spouse and share ways you want to grow in the coming year.
Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
Practice good listening skills. Give your spouse good eye contact and resist interrupting him or her. Repeat back what you hear your spouse saying.
Stay curious. Ask good follow-up questions for a deeper understanding of your spouse’s assessment results.
Remember that the conversation is designed to help you grow closer as a couple. It may feel awkward and you will make mistakes. That’s OK. Start the conversation by asking for God’s help.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What surprised you most about the Marriage Assessment Results? Why did it surprise you?
Which strengths stood out to you? How can you build those strengths in the coming weeks?
Which growth area stood out to you? How can you grow in this area in the coming year?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the best), how am I doing as a husband or wife? What one thing can I do to move that number in a positive direction?
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